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Repeat this a few times while you mentally “check in” with the body. “Squeeze” their finger with your butt, hold the squeeze for a few seconds, and then relax.
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I’ve trained several first-timers for bottoming (as well as for more extreme forms of anal sex play), and here’s my best suggestion: While your sexual partner gently slides a finger in, take ten deep breaths, breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. While these classic first-timer techniques to minimize pain have certainly helped many folks relax, they’re not the first ones I recommend. Others recommend “pushing out” while someone is fucking you. Some people recommend taking a deep breath when your sexual partner first enters you. Also, there are ways you can train your butt muscles to relax, stretch, and make the experience easier (see the last question of this guide). No sex is perfect when you’re a beginner. But don’t worry once you get better at it, it feels great. Why does it hurt? Because the anal walls have to expand to accommodate a penis, dildo, or other object, and that can be painful - especially when you’re new to the sensation. Bottoming is rarely a delightful experience in the beginning, because you don’t know what you’re doing. The only thing you can control is what you eat, and eating a healthy diet that’s high in fiber and low in red meat will make your cleaning process much easier. You also shouldn’t douche every day for this reason. Flushing your butt can disrupt and dry out the good bacteria in your colon that you need to process waste, so cleaning for too long isn’t healthy. You can clean and clean for hours and still not be totally “clean.” But you shouldn’t clean for hours and hours in the first place. Don’t call yourself - or your sex - a “failure.” You will have many sexual experiences in your life where you'll think you're clean until your body has other plans. No matter what you choose to do, you cannot completely control your body. Many people, including some medical professionals, recommend skipping douching in the first place, washing your butt with soap and water, putting a towel down, and simply cleaning up any mess after. Yes, you can get pretty clean, but cleaning out is not a requirement for bottoming. Anal sex always involves some likelihood that you’ll encounter poop. And make sure you try to release all the water into the toilet when you’re done - water left in your butt can cause discomfort later on.ĭon’t freak out if you can’t get totally clean. Some safety tips: Go slow! Also, don’t stick the nozzle all the way in - there’s no need to, and you can hurt yourself if you’re not gentle enough. Hold it in for a few seconds, then gently release the water into a toilet. You don’t need much.Īfter you do this, your butt might feel strange and “full.” To avoid discomfort, make sure the water is warm - not hot - before you start. When you’re starting off, there’s no need to empty the bulb. More advanced forms of sex require more extensive cleaning regimens, which do require more water, but that’s not for beginners. Note: You don’t need to squirt a huge amount of water up there, at least not when you’re a beginner. Gently squeeze the bulb and slowly fill your butt with water. Lube up the tip of your enema with a body-safe lubricant (I recommend silicone-based lube), and slowly insert the nozzle into your hole. Most people do not consume enough fiber, which is vital to your overall gastrointestinal health (and makes anal sex easier and less messy - double win!). Incorporating a fiber supplement like Metamucil into your diet can help. Some people with careful diets skip the douching process altogether and are naturally “ready to go” (vegetarians and vegans especially). If you eat a high-fiber, veggie-heavy diet and avoid excessive red meat, your poop will be less messy and more “together,” meaning the douching process will be minimal - which is what you want. What you eat plays a major role in how “clean” your butt can be. Many people don’t, and you don’t always need to douche to have an enjoyable experience bottoming. You’ll discover what kind of douche you want to use, learn different cleaning methods, or find that you don’t really need (or want) to douche at all. As your skill develops, your douching regimen will probably change.